diamonds are forever

Diamonds are for ever…

I am not much of a pet-lover. I don’t feel comfortable with dogs, cats, parrots, parakeets or any other such creatures.  I did, however, have an encounter of the close kind with a pet and that was a long time ago.  My father, then in service, had a boss who quite liked him and he decided to present us with a pedigreed Dalmatian pup, fresh from the oven, in a manner of speaking.

We took in the little white thing with a little trepidation and uncertainty. It was almost like having a new baby at home. The only catch was that this was our first (and only) tryst with pets and none of us were particularly comfortable with the four legged creature.  Within a week, black diamond shaped spots started appearing on the white coat. It was christened “Diamond” because of its spots.  It was introduced to a strictly vegetarian diet. Efforts were made to get friendly with Diamond.  Diamond grew very fast and  was a voracious eater.  It would devour everything and look with doleful eyes for more. We were not sure whether we landed up overfeeding it .We were singularly unsuccessful in toilet training Diamond.  Consequently, one had the task of clearing up the mess and my brother and I did the honors.

 It was a playful little creature and would jump on us with joy, on our return from school or work.  It would have been nice, but unfortunately, we were all rather terrified by this excitable creature.. My mother made tentative attempts to get friendly with Diamond and was rewarded with a friendly bite on the fingers. That was the end of her efforts to befriend Diamond. After a couple of my Dad’s trousers got torn off by the cheerful fellow, my Dad did his best to protect himself and his clothes and his legs. A whole lot of my shoes went missing. My brother had quite a few of his notebooks happily ripped apart by the young master. He was trying to be friendly and get our attention but we could not reciprocate satisfactorily.  We have a solitary family portrait with Diamond in the center and all of us looking to keep a respectable distance from him. Fear writ on our faces and smiles forced, it was a portrait of abject discomfiture for all concerned, Diamond included.  

I am sure Diamond sensed our discomfort and maybe our aloofness. He started retreating into a shell. His barks sounded less frenetic, his leaps a little forced and his antics a trifle contrived. He seemed a little depressed; we were feeling a little guilty. But there was a total transformation, in the chap, when, my cousin, a confirmed canninophile (if there is such a word), came visiting. They discovered each other and got along like a house on fire. He would follow my cousin all around the place and they seemed to be soul mates. They were quite inseparable and Diamond seemed to have been reborn.  It was quite obvious that Diamond would have a new home where he would be appreciated and enjoyed. Diamond and my cousin lived happily ever after for many years.

Having a pet is not easy.  It has to be a relationship of mutual comfort and affection.  Much perhaps, like marriage.  But for pet lovers, there can be no other way of life. For these diehard pet lovers, Diamonds are forever…

liva another day

Live another day …

Happy Birthday! Happy Wedding Anniversary! That was it. Life was so simple and uncomplicated in those days. Today, one has to keep track of a whole lot of unknown people to wish. One has to wish so many  people for so many things or  forget it at the risk of offending someone and being regarded as insensitive and uncaring, anti-social  and  behind- the -times! You could become a social outcast , get ostracized or become a pariah if you don’t keep track of these ever expanding lists. I  dread each new day and wonder whom I have not wished or greeted- life has become more complicated!

Did you know yesterday was Bai Day (also called Kaam-wali Day in North India)? You are in for serious trouble if you have not given a day off to your maid and given her a new cotton Saree. She may not be there in your employ till Bai- ke- Bacche day(also called Kaam-wali –ke -Bacche day in North India ) which falls on April 20 , when you have to take the maid’s kids for Ice-Cream to Baskin Robbins. Everybody is so sensitive about these “days “. One loved ones’ parents always but Fathers and Mothers become suspicious if you don’t wish them on their respective days. I actually sneak into my sons’ rooms trying to look for my surprise gift on Father’s Day eve. Guess what ? I believe very soon , there is going to be a Pot-bellied Father’s Day and another Grey –Haired Father’s Day and sometime in May ,they are going to fit in a Left- Handed- Grandfather’s Day! Things are just getting more exciting.

Not to be left behind ,there are special days for environmental and medical and health issues. No- Electricity –Day and Conserve –water –Day  are passé and old fashioned. There are exciting new days to be recognized officially  which are right round the corner.  To mention a few , No-toilet –paper day(May24); No –toothbrush –day (June 02); No –potty –day (June09) are some of the more prominent ones. Then there are these special days to honor certain professionals – you have Doctors’ Day and Nurses’ Day and Teacher’s Day .  The politicians have not taken this well and a bill is going to be tabled in Parliament shortly . They regard their position as special and hence have recommended a  Politician’s Week . A day would , quite obviously not suffice ! 

Then there are these ‘days ‘dedicated to create awareness about various illnesses. Of course, there is the World Health Day .There is a Hepatitis Day and a Diabetes Day and a Glaucoma Day and the World AIDS Day and so on. However, some specialties have been feeling left out and want to highlight the sterling work they are doing in respective areas of expertise. To focus on the ailments and bring suffering patients closer, tie-ups have been made with Hallmark cards . Very soon cards and posters will be available wishing “Happy Anal Incontinence  Day” and “Happy Enema Anniversary!”   To accommodate these large number of cards and gifts being exchanged on these Days , Ikea has brought out a special range of cupboards with different sized slots – they are ,unimaginatively ,being marketed as the Day Cupboards!

To avoid confusion between these various days and to avoid overlap , a Department of Days has been created under the Ministry of Human Resources  which considers applications for new entries. The waiting period for inclusion in the official Government of India Day List is several days  and understandably ,  there is intense lobbying for the dates. Some requests have been turned down at the initial stages itself.  Some of them include, “No –Corruption –Day  “ , “ No – Cellphone- Day “ , “No –Television –Day” …

Because of the intense demand for the Days , the Department is unable to cope with the staggering demand and there is a suggestion to start marketing Nights soon . In the near future expect “, Happy Maternal Uncle’s Night and Happy Chemistry Professor Night!”